
Here is an image of the blueprint for the coup. Source: http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=pervez+musharraf&init=quick#!/pervezmusharraf?ref=search&sid=2231065.717778931..1
Karachi, Pakistan: Senior Jang and The News special amazing Pulitzer prize winning zabardast correspondent, Ansar Abbasi, has accused Retired General Pervez Musharraf of planning a 2nd coup through his Facebook fan page. As a guest appearing in the television show ‘Meray Mutabiq,’ Mr. Abbasi accused Pervez Musharraf of receiving millions of dollars from the United States and the corporation ‘Facebook’ to further his “undemocratic militaristic and US agenda.”
Mr. Abbasi said that the 150,000 ‘fans’ of General Musharraf are mostly retired army personnel and CIA agents posing as young patriotic Pakistanis. “No Pakistani can support such a dictator who set the country back into the 1970s. He just wants to entice young Pakistani minds into believing that he will help solve all their problems.” When pressed by host Shahid Masood as to how exactly will the coup be executed, Mr Abbasi said “according to my and only my senior anonymous sources in the upper chambers in the corridors of Pakistani intelligence who are familiar with deciphering Facebook poke requests, the United States will drop Humvees in Islamabad via Chinook helicopters and with the help of the Israelis and the Indians drive Musharraf to the Army House.”
After saying his controversial remarks, Mr. Masood and his studio audience applauded Mr. Abbasi for his intellectualism. According to press handouts, Mr. Abbasi is a renowned investigative journalist who has uncovered hundreds of high profile cases. His achievements include finding the charsi (drug addict) who stole the gutter lid from outside the Supreme Court, he broke the news that Nawaz Sharif has had a hair transplant, and he uncovered that Rehman Malik uses Kala Kola Hair Color on a daily basis. According to rumors, his coveted and hidden sources include the Chief Justice’s driver, a chai wala at the Presidency, Nawaz Sharif’s cook, and a bar tender at a retired 4 star General’s house.
News of the coup has sent shock waves in the ‘smoke filled rooms of power’ and in world capitals around the world. The news comes at a sensitive time, as Turkey recently arrested several retired military personnel accused of orchestrating a similar plot. In light of the investigation, Ansar Abbasi is asking the government to appoint Chief Justice Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry as the President and Chief of Army Staff, and to appoint Retired Justice Ramday Air Chief Marshal on an ad hoc basis.
In a video message on his Facebook page, Mr. Musharraf vehemently and unequivocally rejected Mr. Abbasi’s claims, stating that “He will do only what is best for the country and what the people of Pakistan ask him to do – everything is up in the air.” Political strategists believe that Mr. Musharraf is indeed planning on another coup with the help of current General Kayani, but is just ‘waiting for the right time.’
Maila Times has learned that The News has decided to upgrade Mr. Abbasi’s editorials to actual ‘news’ items, and will devote the entire front page from now on to Mr. Abbasi. “We firmly believe that Mr. Abbasi deserves to have his own front page,” said an anonymous chairman of The News. “Mr. Abbasi is a breath of fresh air in a news environment plagued with quacks, faux intellectuals, arm-chair analysts, and random tools trying to make everyone believe that their inside sources are trust worthy. Mr. Abbasi has repeatedly demonstrated that he is above all of that.”


















