Maila Times

Islamabad, Pakistan: Following in the footsteps of his predecessor, President Asif Ali Zardari announced yesterday that he is to write his own autobiography, titled ‘Chori Chori Chupke Chupke’, which will go on sale from the 14th of August 2009. This book, according to Mr. Zardari, is meant to be part of the Benazir Bhutto Income Support Programme, which was launched soon after the present government was voted in. Seated next to his son Bilawal in a press conference at his Islamabad residence, the president stated that free copies of the book would be distributed amongst people with a joint family income of less than Rs. 6000, and that every effort would be made to ensure that only ‘deserving’ individuals benefit. The government hopes that by reading the story of Mr. Zardari’s life, members of the public would be inspired to work harder, and in turn, increase their earning potential. “We don’t want to give them fish, we want to teach them how to fish,” said Mr. Zardari in response to a question put forward by a senior member of the media.

The president also stated that these families would now not receive the Rs. 1000 they were initially entitled to under the BBISP. Instead, the money will go towards establishing a new fund, the Benazir Bhutto Large Monument Fund, which would be used to make a giant statue of the former prime minister in the center of Larkana. This, said Mr. Zardari, would be a fitting tribute to his slain wife, and “would inspire millions of people living in countries being ruled by dictators to stand up and fight for democracy.” According to the Prime Minister’s financial advisor Shaukat Tarin, this statue would attract hundreds of foreign investors, ensuring the inflow of billions of dollars and in turn increasing the foreign reserves of the country. This, he said, would enable Pakistan to pay back the recent IMF loan well before schedule.

The MMA, however, have demanded assurances from President Zardari that the statue of Bhutto would not show “curves or any other satan enduced” things. They have suggested that the statue be covered in hijab.

Speaking to the media soon after the announcement, Prime Minister Yusuf Raza Gilani lauded the president’s newest idea, which he said would put Pakistan on the road to recovery. “By taking this step, President sahab has ensured that the country will be able to recover from the economic crisis that we have inherited from the previous dictatorial government. It also ensures that the name of Bibi shaheed lives on. He has killed two stones with one bird.”