Lahore, Pakistan: A tragic event unfolded at the Pearl Continental Hotel in Lahore when a young boy had his face ripped apart by a gushing aunty. According to several eye witnesses, Hamid Ghani, a student of Beaconhouse Defense, politely went to say salaam to his mother’s friend Begum Tabassum, who upon seeing how adorable the [...]
Entries from May 2009
May 26, 2009
Pakistani Woman Breaks Record
Rawalpindi, Pakistan: A 43 year old Pakistani woman broke the Guinness World Record of having the longest phone conversation with only three words. Begum Mehrunnisa, a resident of Rawalpindi, spoke to her older sister Mrs. Abbassi for 34 hours and 18 minutes and only said “jee, acha and haan” during the phone call made last [...]
May 18, 2009
President’s Scheduler Develops Strange American Accent
Islamabad, Pakistan: In an interesting report, President Zardari’s chief scheduler Hamid Jamshed has apparently developed a strange ‘American accent’. Maila Times has learned that Hamid Jamshed has been placed on a leave of absence to regain his fake British accent. According to Dr. Ghulam Khalid, the influx of meetings with American officials, American trips, and [...]
May 13, 2009
KSE Crashes Due to CJ’s Broken Toe
Karachi, Pakistan: The KSE-100 broke the 0 point psychological barrier today after rumors spread on the trading floor that Chief Justice Iftikhar Muhammad Chaudhry slipped and broke his foot while showering. Sources inside the stock exchange called our offices and said that the trading floor was in complete mayhem as brokers tried to offload their [...]
May 12, 2009
Entourage Surprised About Being in DC
Washington, USA: Many people in President Zardari’s entourage are still trying to figure out the reason for their presence in Washington last week. Most of the officials went prepared to meet with their counterparts to increase cooperation. After arriving in Washington, however, they learned that no such meetings were planned for them.
Minister of Food and [...]
May 7, 2009
World’s Best Job
Maila Times has learned that the Pakistani government, in coordination with President Zardari’s current visit to Washington DC, has placed several ads in the New York Times, Washington Post, and other respectable newspapers advertising for “The World’s Best Job.” According to Information Minister Qamar Zaman Kaira, the Pakistani government is borrowing the tactics used by [...]
