Maila Time’s Twitter page.
Maila Time’s Facebook fan page.
Maila Time’s Facebook fraindship requests.
Hey, these stories aren’t real and they are made up! What the hell?
We hope you meet your death by getting run over by a rickshaw. Please take a quick look at our ‘Disclaimer’ section.
Is it true that the authors of Maila Times are young, attractive, wannabe gossip girls from Brazil?
Yes.
Why do you guys only post once a week?
We have a very, very comfortable couch in our living room which makes us very, very lazy.
How much does RAW and Mossad and Fox News pay you guys to further their agendas?
They pay us just enough to be able to schmooze our way into fancy embassy parties, manipulate and bribe prominent politicians, and cut secret dirty deals with ISI agents over a cup of chai.
Why is your website called Maila Times?
We wanted to call it ‘The Mango,” but our lawyers said that certain farmers of ‘piaz’ might get angry.
Okay but seriously, are you girls from Brazil, and if so, can I come visit?
Sure, though we have a feeling that you would be horribly disappointed…
What inspires your story ideas?
Lassi overdose induced comas.
Why are the authors of Maila Times anonymous?
Because jaanu, then our handlers would get mad at us!
How many of the MT authors are single?
One and a half, but hey, if you’re maila, then we’ll go to the end of the world with you.
You guys do realize that this website is a rip off of ‘The Onion,’ right?
No comment.
Can I send you guys story ideas?!
Absolutely! Please look at our ‘Submissions’ Page.
If I have any more questions, what should I do?
Ask us by emailing us (mailatimes@gmail.com)!
27 Comments
October 27, 2009 at 12:43 pm
You people are doing a pretty good job here. My commendations on that. However, just a small piece of advice – avoid profanity in the writing. I think you can convey humour even under the umbrella of decency. That being said, it is upto you to take this advice or not. Good luck for the future.
November 3, 2009 at 12:24 am
Thank you Gul! We try, but our ability to convey humor under the umbrella of decency is rather limited. We definitely try to only put profanity when the situation calls for it (to stay true to reality), but we’ll try to be a bit more stringent on that.
October 30, 2009 at 7:34 am
Boss, Maan gaey hain aap logon ko, mahaan ho. Keep drinking that Lassi.
October 31, 2009 at 5:04 am
Fucking super…
October 31, 2009 at 9:51 am
Hey, i am scratching my ‘head’ bleeding, how the hell u guys stole my idea of such a website? Dont know your political agenda, but seriously if you are trying to wake ‘your nation’ up, ehhhh “goood luckkehhh”
btw I am hoping against hope that u r not victims of “teen’s superiority” !!!
(you dont even need luck)
MFS
November 3, 2009 at 12:42 am
Remember that one drunken night of debauchery, MFS? It was at that swanky discho party in Bedian. You had a drink in one hand and your cigarette in the other, clumsily pointing out the cute girl in the bright pink kameez to the left of us, when you all of a sudden you turned your head to me and said “OMG, wouldn’t it be cool to make a website that copies the Onion, but focus it on Pakistani issues?” And I was like “No, MFS, that’s absolutely ridiculous.” Well, I lied. I ran straight home and gave birth to this 9 months later. You should have said something A LONG TIME AGO.
Also, you sound cute when you say things like ‘teen’s superiority.’ Maafi dehdo, hamari angrezi bohut kamzor hei. Let’s hang.
November 3, 2009 at 12:18 am
Thanks Suhayb. True, we are of Pakistani descent (otherwise we’d be really, really lame Pakistani haters). We do own the domain and have those email addresses, but we prefer to use Gmail because it’s just a lot easier to do so.
Eh, screw ads, at least for now. When the time comes to get rich, we’ll definitely be in touch. Thank you for offering your help and for your suggestions!
November 3, 2009 at 8:35 am
What Me Worry?
November 9, 2009 at 6:05 am
^lol at ur last post
nyc work ppl…stumbled across to the ‘girl says no’ om sum1z fb post…and damn um gladd i clikd dt link :p
November 20, 2009 at 7:29 pm
personally i feel that pakistan has lost its values, and the country has licked americas ass so much it has become another american state.the government enjoy wanking the senators hoping to make a return on a few dollars. in short the country is a sham, and the politics are full of whores. i think that the people should throw a revolution against there government and kick out these sell outs. and once theyre done with that. then remove all occupation of the americans and british soldiers, who’s motvie btw is to further destablise pk and to somehow control their nuclear asset. since its the only muslim country to possess one. peace and love from your brother. p.s if u ever do revolt call me. and we can throw these losers out and never let them return.
November 27, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Why not yaar. Chalo revolution revolution khel te hain. Che Guevara banne ke liye pugam!!
December 17, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Yes, let’s.
November 22, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Greetings from a fellow news-satire writer of India. You guys/gals are simply awesome! Keep up the good work
December 17, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Thank you!
November 27, 2009 at 8:51 am
Love the idea of our homegrown piyaz, long overdue, much needed
December 17, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Thanks Beena!
December 1, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Why is your website called Maila Times?
We wanted to call it ‘The Mango,” but our lawyers said that certain farmers of ‘piaz’ might get angry.
I thought the reason might have been that calling it “The Mango” would have been just too “common”!
December 7, 2009 at 3:53 am
Khusro – ‘common’ just doesn’t sound the same as ‘aam’ in this context
December 7, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I thought I’d make the “aam junta” work for it
December 2, 2009 at 7:32 am
yar seriously start planning a youtube channel for the mailas too. hats off to you guys!
December 6, 2009 at 5:01 pm
beena mentioned this site
fresh, interesting and diferent
good job:)
December 17, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Thank you temporal!
December 9, 2009 at 6:07 pm
oops, sshh, how is it that you guys outed me as CIA?
December 17, 2009 at 7:13 pm
I am smitten by the way you handled this topic. It is not often I come across a website with charming articles like yours. I will make a note of your feed to stay up to date with your potential updates.Just impressive and do keep up the rational work.
December 17, 2009 at 11:53 pm
I just love this site. It’s great how you guys can make people laugh over some of the “silliness” of our society. It’s kinda like the daily show with Jon Stewart. It’s political satire + comic relief….I’m guessing you guys don’t actually live in Pakistan?!? But I’m certain most of you are from Lahore.
December 18, 2009 at 4:15 am
Nice job! I’ll help spread the word!
March 11, 2010 at 3:50 pm
This website is straight money! I am fairly maila myself and will be sure to keep you boys / ladies / ladyboys posted with the latest and greatest!